I felt I could not write, so I wrote this.

***

The words won't come,
they are not right
they hide and won't let their grip go
when I try to pull them out.
So the inner space seems empty
with flames burning at the edges
but when I look it's gone again,

Art by William Adolphe Bouguereau

in the time I pick up my pen
the glimpse is gone.

The pain, the sadness, the sacred
prayer and effort
the puffs of red flame and
waves of love
the crushing not knowing what to do
trembling, burning in the inner space
clamouring to be let out
threatening to destroy the whole heart
unless I find the right words.

The golden vapours, the indigo sky,
the stars and the snow
dyed with the blue of night.
The tears that won't come, the words
that won't come
the days that are altogether wrong...

The fir trees have stood in the forest
since the beginning of summer.
They look at me and they know
their silence is the same as this
only more peaceful, filled with grace,
patience, acceptance.

The east wind brought snow
at nightfall.
I awake in the hour

before dawn and the stars
are as serene and radiant
as the trees bowing their heads

Sulamith Wulfing

and the yet untainted cover of snow
over the earth.

At first light
your tears, unshrinking, wash my face.
Suddenly, I remember
and turn my head
and the love is like green buds
on spring branches
that grew when I had forgotten
to look.

The love where there is only trust
I let my eyes rest in yours and you
gently hold my gaze
I come to you
and your understanding covers me like wings,
this love that is like a strength,
protecting us,
holding us together.

When I remember
your heart
mine is filled with peace.

Sunlight falls on black branches
in complete silence.
Crystals on snow revealed by the light
do not move or tremble.
Blue shadows fall on snow
in perfect order, intensifying
the brilliance.
Puffs of smoke rush along, then disappear.
Everything in its place
the trees' joyful standing still
content in patience.
Only my heart moves restlessly
the firm grip of anxiety immovable
its roots buried deep and solid.

I try to hold onto purity,
steady but not crushing, like thin glass
in awe that here is the space to do it,
in awe at the love and mercy,
falling on my knees
to be deserving of this
to remember to shoulder the responsibility
- in the disaster that is our life,
it is them extending a divine hand.
In our despair, in our inability
to hold back the destruction, awful fate
wrought by us, in our blindness, weakness
terrible wrong decisions,
it is them bringing knowledge and guidance
us that have to receive it,
not close our eyes and say, it is too much.
It is us who brought the death,
them who brought the hope.

Let me be solid,

inhabiting this body,

anchoring the delicate strands

of spiritual perception

fluttering in the wind,

forlorn.

My mind always flying away

like it is too light,

too much drawn to worlds of

illusion, regret, abstract regions

while in the body is the memory

of a neglected child,

writhing with pain.

Who are you?

Who has hurt you?

Why are you crying, fretting, 

burning with shame and anguish?

The pain covers

the inner layer of my body

like a veil,

fire burning on the surface of water,

thick ice that you would not imagine

could ever melt,

mist hiding a forest, where you would not

imagine a mountain could be.

There is something beneath.

The only way to reach it

is inhabiting the house,

bringing my being into the burning rooms,

and watch, wait, alert.

In the pain

I will start seeing threads of meaning

and I do not allow it

to push me into the airy,

blind worlds.

Looking with the intention

of understanding

I have the discipline

not to escape
or disappear.

Seeds of the Sun

Ferdinand Knab

Our eyes,
gazing into each other,
are stern, calm, but loving.
The air around us is lit
in an invisible fire
I can hear its roar as I
take your hand
our hands are lit and we
hold those flames on our palms
with infinite concentration.

In this dark night room
slender trees grow around us,
the virgins, silvery birches
covered in the purest snow of chastity.
Suddenly, and yet so slowly,
the light in the dark, in our dark bodies
begins to increase.
I can feel snowdrops growing
in that dark earth,
gently brushing my cheek and hair.

You are a pearl of the Sun
the solar rays shine on your forehead
the sublimated energy of love
transforming the blackness of your being
into gold in your heart.

In this house of transformations,
of inner knowledge,
every word could be sacred
every touch kind
every footstep conscious.

Love is not the intensity,
selfish desire of the animal
- it is the peaceful, pure
prayer that lives between us,
that flutters in the blood red garments
of the warrior goddess,
who gains holy power from each kiss
of adoration.

Here, all that is base and violent
is revealed
contempt, arrogance, greed, desire
adoration only growing from two hearts
willing to surrender to each other,
able to sacrifice the darkness,
never allowing it to pollute
the heavenly house.

Solar Man,
I walk in step with you.
Not looking back or to the right or left.
In our footprints
the snow melts
and bluebells and crocuses start to grow.

Learnt at the Brink of Losing Everything

You are not guaranteed Time.
Not the one you believe
you will have,
not necessarily even the one
you hope you will have.

So love
every second.

There is no time and no space
for negativity
with the one you love.
Not for resentment,
anger, or pride.
Even misunderstandings
or little hurts
must be nipped in the bud,
quickly.

So pray

Sulamith Wulfing

every second.

For what you have been given,
give back everything you have.
Every day.
All the time.
There is no space for sleep
or forgetfulness.
For the one you love,
give your mind and your heart,
your actions and your words.
Let it all be a voluntary gift,
a joyful sacrifice.

Let his good and his benefit
be your priority.

Let all your words be kind and beautiful,
stemming from pure thoughts
and noble intents,
hard efforts at keeping your evil contained.

Let go of self-centredness.
Find your strength
so that your benevolent, graceful,
sincere, compassionate presence
will make his hurts, his failings in faith,
mistakes, regrets, the impact of the selfish world
bearable, undoable.
Let your heart in being with him
call forth his power
to achieve victory.

Day and night
inwardly and outwardly
continuously,
watch,
pray,
love.

1

Delivered to the hands

of the Goddess

my body lit

in the red fire of purification,

lit by her, overseen by her,

the veil of mysterious fever

drawing me away from him,

setting us apart.

To take this, sighing solemnly,

as all the other sacred mysteries 

I do not comprehend,

and lean on Her, in complete trust,

she who lives in this body, in its

bones, its blood, its heart

and say, calmly 

like a wise woman,

I truly am alone

but for you.

Elisabeth Sonrel

2

The vast space of the inevitable -

Death

and forgetfulness, 

drowning in one's own sorrow,

mind's illusions veiling one

in deadly mist

separates me and him, even in Life.

Is it, 'I love you'

or, 'I am deathly attached to you'?

I crave you, you are my world,

I cannot exist without you,

not breathe, think or move

without you?

Or is it,

May you go in peace

May the birds of eternity

fly behind you and before you

May the mercy 

and forgiveness of the Gods

free you and protect you

May the angels pray a fervent

prayer for you day and night, 

continuously

May the Light shine on all your days

May strength move your soul

in all your decisions and aspirations

May there be a divine fragrance

to wake you from your dreams,

to guide your efforts 

in solitude and in company,

to allow your heart to feel Love and Happiness 

- Be it that I am there 

or not.