The Disappearing Girl

I am invisible.
My breathing is soundless,
my steps silent,
my feet small.
I clutch my things close to me,
trying not to take up space.
I don't speak, or if I do,
my voice is quiet, controlled, melodious.
I feel comfortable finding my way
in the dark, oh no, no need to turn on
the lights for me, I'm good like this thanks.

John Bauer

I don't leave messes or stains behind,
I clean up any evidence of my presence.
Everything in its place, I haven't
moved a thing, haven't been here.
I cannot be surprised, always alert,
I've lost my ability to scream.
No need for food or sleep,
(I'm too restless to sleep anyway)
people like me don't require that.

Don't think about me, just preferably
forget all about me.
That way I am comfortable,
as if I did not exist.

But even an invisible girl like me
cannot forever hide from the fire within.
Suppress it, pretend, run away
but when someone blows on the flames,
there we are, everything burns -
mind, heart and body.

Then you appear,
and there's a bonfire.
Now what do I do?
Whatever you give me,
will be consumed in the fire,
it cannot be satisfied,
and I burn with it,
my whole life of trying to be ice,
gone in an instant,
all the years thinking I was in control,
gone.

Either I give in and everything burns,
you, me, the whole house,
all disappearing in the fire,
or I deny everything.
Either way, I must not touch you, I must stay away.
But there is a third choice -
the Goddess can rescue me.
Only She has the water to quench the fire.
I must stand still, the fire tries to burn me,
but I must not believe it, must not allow it,
I must give space for the water to work,
for my Mother to work.
Be quick my Mother,
there is not much time.